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Mastering Your Emotions in 5 steps, COMING SOON!

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Fear doesn’t get to dictate your life. Fear is

Fear doesn’t get to dictate your life.
Fear is not a feeling we allow to make our choices, our decisions or affect our lives.
Healthy fear comes in getting close to fire or the edge of cliff, but that helps keep us safe.
Fear of vulnerability, of a relationship, of feeling pain may feel like it keeps us safe, but in reality it keeps us stuck.
Courage isn’t the absence of fear, but it’s doing the thing afraid.
Fear is not a fruitful or healthy aspect.
In the Bible it says “do not be afraid” 365 times. Once for every single day of the year.
Coincidence?
I think not.
Fear pops up for us all in many ways, but it doesn’t get to run our lives, or more ruin them.
Push past the fear, push past the doubts and lies.
Get wise counsel, work through the root of the fear and know you’re worth loving, worth a shot, worth investing in and worth stepping out.
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#mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #truthbomb #trigger #triggerwarning #doitscared #feardoesntwin #fear #courage #stepout #therapistofinsta #therapy #mindsetcoach

5 Tips for Healthy Relationships 1. Communicate. M

5 Tips for Healthy Relationships
1. Communicate. More often than not people expect their partner to “just know” how you’re feeling, what you’re thinking or where you’re at. That’s not a reasonable or healthy expectation. It is your job to use your voice and communicate needs, wants and desires. It’s also your partners job to do the same. Communication that’s clear, authentic, and vulnerable is key for a healthy relationship.
2. Date nights are one of the easiest to forgo, but the most important. Date nights are where you don’t talk about “business” of the family or tasks, but instead a place to connect with each other, about each other. To have new experiences, create memories and bonds.
3. Love languages is the key I use in marriage therapy that has been so beneficial. It teaches each partner the best way to love the other person and how to feel the most loved. Most often couples are loving the other person in the way they want to be loved, not what makes most sense for the other person. That leads to disconnect.
4. Knowing your own triggers and the lens you see life through will save grief and heartache for you, but also in relationships. Understanding and knowing your partners will give you grace and compassion instead of feeling blamed or that it’s about you. It’s not your job to manage the other persons trigger, that’s a personal job, but communicating that is helpful to give each other grace, space and be able to not internalize it.
5. Setting healthy boundaries is key even in a relationship, even more so. What you need, want, is important. What makes you comfortable or uncomfortable. Respect the boundaries and come up with good compromises.

We live in a society that wants the quick easy fix

We live in a society that wants the quick easy fix.
We want immediate responses, immediate gratification, immediate promotions, and immediate healing.
The reality is that the pain you’ve experienced didn’t happen over night, and your healing won’t happen over night either.
It doesn’t have to take years, but for a sustainable healthy life, it takes time.
Just like it takes time to get to know someone in a relationship, healing takes time.
Slow and steady wins the race is a powerful statement and one we need to take into consideration more often.
We are allowed to be efficient, productive and moving forward, but sometimes going too fast will cause you to crash.
Slow down, embrace the journey, healing is worth it.
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#justbreathe #nextlevel #levelup #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #therapistofinsta #mindsetcoach #mindsetreset

Trauma does wild things to our minds and bodies.

Trauma does wild things to our minds and bodies.
It literally rewires our brains to manage the emotions that are present with the traumatic event.
When a trauma or negative event occurs, the stress hormone cortisol is released in abundance causing the part of the brain called the amygdala to activate.
When the amygdala gets involved, it causes extreme alertness or overreaction of hyper arousal or hypo arousal where the person withdraws or shuts down.
Now even though trauma can rewire our brains to become stuck in hyper or hypo arousal, the amazing thing is that healing can reverse that.
Healing can rewire the brain to a calm state allowing the person to no longer feel the intensity of emotions related to a traumatic event.
Our brains have neuroplasticity, meaning they have the ability to reorganize itself through new connections and brain growth.
All that to say, you don’t have to stay stuck in the same place you are now.
There is possibility to go to the next level and life a life full of hope, joy and freedom like never before.
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#trauma #neuroplasticity #brain #traumabrain #mentalhealth #rewirebrain #healing #therapistofinstagram #traumatherapy #mindsetreset #growth

People pleasing When we get to this place of havi

People pleasing
When we get to this place of having to be a people pleaser, we are really choosing not to be happy within ourselves.
Wait what?
Yup I said it.
People pleasing has a performance mentality in it, saying if we don’t make this person happy or that person or all the people, then we are not worth loving.
When we choose to do people pleasing, making their happiness our responsibility, we are choosing to be unhappy.
Why’s that? Isn’t it selfless to do so?
No it’s not.
Selfless acts and helping people are beautiful, but people pleasing does not have boundaries and puts your needs and wants to become nonexistent.
When your own needs and wants are nonexistent you’re not happy.
And in turn you’re not actually making anyone else happy because happiness is an inside job.
If anything you’re actually enabling the other person to stay stuck in an unhealthy codependent cycle.
People pleasing says you have a belief about yourself that you’re not worthwhile and not worth loving.
Which is a lie and not true.
Understand your worth, your value and allow yourself and others to own that happiness is an inside job.
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#truthbomb #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #selfaware #peoplepleasing #therapistofinstagram #mindsetcoach #elitemindset #mindsetmastery

The healing journey is a beautiful, up and down pr

The healing journey is a beautiful, up and down process.
It can be hard and painful, but also freeing, exhilarating and insightful.
When we speak over ourselves that we are broken or damaged, it brings in a feeling of hopelessness and condemnation that’s not necessary.
The reality is that we live in a fallen world full of flawed humans, and those flaws can cause pain.
Whether purposefully or not.
It happens, for everyone.
However, we get the chance to create beauty from ashes and grow to the next level.
You are not damaged, you are not broken.
You are a masterpiece and a work in progress.
You are amazing, you are exactly where you’re meant to be and you are doing a great job!
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#wordsmatter #speaktruth #healingjourney #emotionalhealth #mentalhealth #therapistofinstagram #mindsetcoach #elitemindset #growthmind

It’s not a what if, you WERE made for more! More

It’s not a what if, you WERE made for more!
More than settling for good enough, more than ignoring your own heart and mind, more than diminishing yourself to fit in, more than blustering to gain attention.
You don’t have to perform for love.
You value and worth is not based on what you do or don’t do.
Your past does not define you.
We can learn to recognize the pain, the hurt, the lies and the crap of our past in order to stand on top of it and see farther.
Allow it to give us perspective and help us go further.
If you feel stuck, not good enough or just not able to own you, let us help.
We value you so much more than you realize and would love to help you see that too.
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#nextlevel #eliteminset #madeformore #morethanenough #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #mindsetcoach#coach #therapist #therapistofinsta

Why wait for tomorrow what you can do today? What

Why wait for tomorrow what you can do today?
What if today was your day one and a year from now you were where you’d dreamed you could be?
It’s possible!
We often say we don’t have time or can’t find time to do what we want to.
The reality is, you will never find the time.
You have to make the time.
You have to choose for your life to start in a new way.
You have to choose that you don’t want to just survive anymore, but you want to thrive!
You have to choose to take the step.
Reach out to us and schedule a FREE fifteen minute consultation to see how we can help!
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#relationships #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #dontsurvivebutthrive #thriving #mindsetcoach #traumatherapy #trauma #thereshope #therapistofinsta

Over the 12 years I’ve been in the field, I’ve

Over the 12 years I’ve been in the field, I’ve worked with many people who get stuck in the same pattern.
They choose the same person, but different face.
They choose the same toxic behavior, but different outlet.
The reason we can get stuck in the same pattern is because we didn’t heal the root cause of allowing that pattern to begin in the first place.
We didn’t heal the issue with the lack of self worth stemming from an abusive father, which then led to being in similar abusive relationships.
We didn’t heal the lie that we are not good enough so we jump from one addiction to another trying to run from the feeling.
Whatever the pattern is, the only way to break it, is to heal the root.
If we pull up a weed without getting the root, what happens?
It just comes back.
Take time to do the work, pull out the root and find freedom from the hurtful patterns created in negative circumstances.
It isn’t your fault for what happened to you, but it is your responsibility to heal it.
Let us help!
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#traumahealing #traumatherapy #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #healingispossible #relationships #datingandmarried #relationshiptips #therapistofinstagram

When we go go go, or be on the hustle and grind co

When we go go go, or be on the hustle and grind constantly, we are not giving our brains or hearts a chance to recharge.
Society regularly tells us to push past our own limits and make work our world.
Unfortunately, this is an unhealthy thought process that really hinders us from our full potential.
The brain is created needing ability to have a break so that it can create, function and develop new ideas.
The heart needs a break to rest, to process and to recover.
When we miss these vital steps we burn out fast.
Give yourself space today to take a break and refresh your mind, body, soul and spirit.
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#refresh #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #instagramtherapist #therapistofinsta #therapytips #heartbreak #mindbreak #mindsetcoach #mentalcoach #elite

Working with VPs, CEOs, Founders, Entrepreneurs an

Working with VPs, CEOs, Founders, Entrepreneurs and other high achievers, burnout can come quite easily.
It can be easy to forgo your own self care in order to get tasks completed, hit quarterly goals, or keep your team on schedule.
However, when the balance or harmony of life drops off, burnout can sneak it’s way in causing the daily tasks to become even harder.
It mimics depression where getting out of bed may be the hardest thing of the day.
If these signs start to pop up, it is important to pay attention and address them quickly in order to get hope for more energy and a better life.
Contact us today and we’d love to help!
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#burnout #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #emotionaltips #successmindset #highachievers #elitemindset #getoutofburnout

Did you know…? The spouse, partner, or best frie

Did you know…?
The spouse, partner, or best friend we choose in our lives can mirror the negative and positive qualities in our primary caregivers or authority figures as a child.
If we didn’t take the time to heal the wounds that were created by our parents, siblings, friends or authority figures, we can continue to find the same person in different forms, working to heal that wound.
The wound needs to be healed, addressed and paid attention to in order to break the patterns of hurt that was done to us.
Many of my clients found themselves in similar relationships that mimic the hurtful experiences they had from their mom, dad or siblings.
Our families may even be amazing humans, but they are flawed and imperfect.
That’s ok.
The flaws however can cause hurt.
The great thing is, we can be hurt in relationships but we can also be healed in relationships.
Working through identifying the similarities, processing how to approach it differently and give yourself the voice you never had will bring healing.
Connect with us for a greater bond in your relationships and in order to allow yourself the chance at a healthy relationship.
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#relationshipcoach #datingandmarried #relationshiphealing #mindsetcoach #mentalhealth #therapistofinstagram #emotionalhealth #relationshipstatus #healing

Hello! For those who don’t know me, I’d like

Hello!
For those who don’t know me, I’d like to introduce myself.
My name is Briana Stonelake, and I’m the founder of Stonelake Consulting.
Im a Speaker, Therapist, and Elite Mindset Coach.
I have been in the mental health field and personal development space for over 12 years working with hundreds of clientele.
My speciality is to partner with people for greater confidence in themselves, gaining clarity as well as helping people thrive in relationships.
Clarity, confidence and connection are the three key areas I love to focus on.
These are affected by mindsets, trauma and relationships.
I truly believe in people and believe more is possible because I’ve seen in countless times!
I thoroughly value and enjoy my clients.
I work with high achievers who want to partner for greatest success personally, professionally and relationally.
I’m also passionate about traveling, being outside and finding the ridiculously silly side of life amidst the serious.
If you have any questions or would like to schedule a free discovery call, I’d be happy to connect with you.
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#mentalhealth #therapistofinstagram #trauma #mindsetcoach #founder #ceo #president #smallbusiness #counseling #whoami

People think stuffing emotions, avoiding or preten

People think stuffing emotions, avoiding or pretending things didn’t happen is easy and doesn’t cause issues.
Just don’t rock the boat.
Unfortunately, each emotion is like a bucket of water being dumped into a boat. Eventually it will start to overwhelm the boat and sink it.
It’s only a matter of time until stuffed down emotions fly out.
It can be through “random” angry outbursts, panic, irritability, and it can even come out in physical issues.
Our bodies are amazing.
The mental, emotional, physical and spiritual sides of ourselves are all connected.
When we neglect one aspect, the rest of them suffer.
From the Queen of stuffing emotions, or I used to be, I can promise you it leads to feeling constantly shut down, unable to connect with self or others, and leads to a lack of joy.
Or worse.
Feeling emotions, processing them and giving them the attention they need will fix a lot more than you realize or would expect.
Emotions don’t run our lives, but they’re like warning lights in a car, something that needs to be addressed in order to run smoothly.
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#mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #instagramtherapist #mindsetcoach #mindset #growth #emotions #trauma

What we think matters. Some people don’t realiz

What we think matters.
Some people don’t realize the power of our mind to create or destroy a certain situation.
If we believe we aren’t good enough, then we will see the world through this manner and start to behave in a way that makes this lie true.
If we believe we are capable and worthwhile, we will also begin to engage in a way that makes this true.
Our minds are incredibly powerful tools, and it matters what we focus on, pay attention to, see, watch, and listen to.
Most of my clients are believing lies that were grafted in at an early age due to negative life experiences, or just living in a flawed world.
When we can identify the lies, we can start to combat those with the truth of who we really are.
I’ve found great success in clients finding another level of confidence, of what they’re capable of and helping create healthier relationships.
What you think about yourself is true.
So what are you thinking?
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#mentalhealth #instagramtherapist #mindsetcoaching #growth #emotionalhealth #trauma #traumatherapy

Self care is a buzz word that’s thrown around so

Self care is a buzz word that’s thrown around so much that it stopped having much meaning.
Or it sounds too fluffy for a lot of people.
The reality is, our country is notorious for being work driven people who don’t enjoy life.
We need to change that because the burn out rate is so extremely high that it limits people from hitting their true potential.
The idea that we have to work ourselves to the bone to be successful is scientifically proven untrue.
When we don’t give space for our brains, our hearts to refresh, we aren’t able to be as productive as we could be.
The research has shown those who work through their lunches and those who take time away from their desk for lunch is drastically different.
Those who take time away from work for lunch are proven to be more productive, more positive and happier.
Our minds need the space to disconnect with what we are doing, shift to a more rejuvenating task like self care of eating lunch or breathing, so that it can see things in a new way.
Self care is essential for our mental and emotional well being.
It helps us be healthier, happier humans and more successful professionally.
Take time each day for five minutes to connect with yourself, your heart and your mind.
What other ways do you find helpful in self care?
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#selfcaretips #selfcarematters #emotionalhealth #mentalhealth #mindbodysoul #mindsetreset #elitemindsetcoach #therapistofinsta #traumatherapist

Through the hundreds of couples work I’ve done a

Through the hundreds of couples work I’ve done as well as thousands of individuals I’ve worked with in the 12 years of my career, empathy is the key I constantly come back to.
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feeling of another.
It does not mean you have to feel the same way, act the same or think the same.
It means you get on the same page as them and help them feel not alone in where they are.
It’s a space to help someone feel seen, heard and still loved.
Empathy is simple.
It takes you acknowledging the emotion that’s being stated.
Examples: “I can see how you would feel alone in that, which would be so heavy to carry.”
“That would be so frustrating and hard to constantly repeat yourself feeling unheard.”
“It must feel exhausting to navigate all those dynamics.”
It takes a person to stop making it about them (even if it’s about them) and actually LISTEN to the person speaking, to hear the emotion that’s coming out.
This active listening is intentionally giving someone space to be validated and heard.
Empathy will deescalate many arguments and discussions.
Empathy in marriages, relationships and even with coworkers will change the whole dynamic.
Stop making it about you, and listen to hear the emotion that’s being expressed.
It’ll change your life and your relationships for the better.
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#empathyiskey #therapistofinsta #marriagetherapy #elitemindset #mindsetcoach

Codependency is an issue many people struggle with

Codependency is an issue many people struggle with and don’t even realize it.
It comes with a lack of boundaries, lack of communication and inability to be your full self.
Codependent means that you have an excessive and unhealthy psychological or emotional reliance on someone.
This could be with a partner, a friend, a parent, a family member or someone you’re close with.
If codependent, you allow your own internal world to be dictated by another person.
It’s due to lack of trust in yourself, having poor self esteem, fears of abandonment or an excessive need for approval.
When codependent, there is an unhealthy dependence on relationships to give you value, to help you know how to think or feel, and an exaggerated sense of responsibility for the actions of others.
Codependency comes with caring for others at the cost of your own expense.
Creating healthy self value, boundaries, learning your own needs and wants, and finding the root of the fears will help you break out of it.
You are made for so much more!
Living in codependency is constantly stressful and exhausting.
Choose to make today, day one, on stepping closer to healthier relationships, healthier habits and a healthier you!
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#codependenttraits #healfromcodependence #selfawareness #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #mindsetcoaching #traumatherapist #therapistofinsta

You have choices. You are more powerful than you

You have choices.
You are more powerful than you realize.
If you are unhappy in life, in any areas, you have choices and ability to change that.
You can either choose to stay stuck, or do something about it.
Change your life.
Where you are living, your job, a relationship, your body.
Take a risk with wisdom and make a different choice to physically change your circumstances.
Or change your picture.
Choose to see things differently, find gratitude for a roof over your head and food in your stomach.
Choose to find joy in learning and growing professionally.
Gain a new healthier mindset about your current life.
Whether you choose to change your life or change your picture, you are more than capable of making life a joyous one.
Your life is what you make of it.
You get to choose!
You are not a victim of life, but a victor.
You are more powerful than you realize.
If you feel stuck and not sure how to do either or want wise counsel in doing so, we would be happy to help!
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#youhaveachoice #youarenotavictim #youarevictorious #elitemindset #emotionalhealth #changeyourlife #changeyourpicture #lifeisachoice #therapistofinsta #captionsmatter

Trigger Warning Usually when we have an overreact

Trigger Warning
Usually when we have an overreaction or an intense response to a situation that doesn’t actually validate the response, it’s likely because we were triggered.
If we become aware of ourselves and the situations around us, we can easily and quickly identify the triggers that occur.
While speaking with a high achieving client, we identified a professional trigger.
With a history of having an overbearing boss, one who belittled them, made them feel less than and where they were never enough, a statement made at work had them fear them repeating those actions.
The response was then intense.
They got instantly offended, defensive and angry.
More than the simple statement allotted and the statement wasn’t even referring to how it was perceived.
Triggers are warning lights in our vehicles that there’s something needing to be paid attention to.
There was still hurt and a lie created that they weren’t enough.
Paying attention to the triggers, the responses that alert triggers, is helpful to creating more internal and external freedom.
If you’re finding yourself being overly angry, defensive or easily offended, you may have triggers being hit.
Connect with us today to let us partner with you for greater confidence, clarity and peace.
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#lifeandtruth #growthmindset #identifytriggers #triggerwarning #emotionalhealth #instatherapist #stonelakelife #mindsetcoach #elite #highachievers

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Powerful Truth

“The hurt and pain wasn’t your fault, but healing is your responsibility.”

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